Finding Inner Peace

You think this is a facade
My apparent smiling face
But it is just a distraction
Distraction from what is at stake
I am afraid of love
I am afraid of being betrayed
I am afraid of loss
I am afraid of purity
I am afraid my emotion cloud my judgment
But who am I anymore ?
While I sit here reading my notes
I sit and wonder whether I could have
Less confusion and less emotions – so
Let me be clear –
I love you
But I am afraid it is not meant to be
My fears control my judgment now
And therefore I am making a mess
A mess of what you made
And now here I am
Sleepless
Unfocused
Desperate for redemption
Trying to cry so I can fall asleep at night
Trying to let me emotions under control
So I can salvage what I have done wrong
So I can help myself be a better girl
A better Daughter
Just Better

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